the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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