Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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