3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
