well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize