omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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