I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
