well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize