im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
