weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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