If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
do herpes really smell.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think my moral compass just broke
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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