While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
