He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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