So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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