stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
a search helicopter?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
And then he peed in my hair
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