Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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