I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
