I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
