Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
