hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
