Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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