I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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