Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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