I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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