I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
