Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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