Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Randomize
