I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
