i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
