I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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