yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
