I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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