we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
