reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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