This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
