Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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