1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
