Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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