I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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