Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
