This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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