I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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