There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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