I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My feet surprised me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
