he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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