I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's never too late to be topless.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
