Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
