Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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