sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize