No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I want is dick and wine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
