I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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