my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
