upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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