I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
