Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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