if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize