I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
