What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
