Got a toothbrush?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
