Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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