then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
