Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
