Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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