Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My dick has a subreddit
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So. Much. Porn.
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