jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
