For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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