You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
FUCK WHALES
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
